IRENE'S ENTROPY
INTRODUCTION
It took me two years to gain the courage to start, four years to write and record, and two years to film. In the pages and sound waves you'll witness a journey of a million choices. Whether they were right or wrong, they got me here. And if anyone from the lost pages of my past comes here in search of reason and rhyme, know this--the journey was worth it.
Section I
Reserved. The lyrics to this chapter will be released upon release of the song.
Section II: Identity
I spent 20 years of life in heaven Only to find out it wasn't real And I had made my bed with gods and angels Monsters trying not to be revealed Looking back I knew this path would crumble But now I feel I'm floating out in space When I hit the ground I trip and stumble Even the mirror won't recognize my face So what do you do when you realize you're an addict? Ripped away from the needle inside your veins? I spent my whole life trying to break through the haze, But the poison remains Identity--fake reality From this day I am sober I swear I'm starting over again Don't tell me it was only cuz they love me Dealers don't give drugs to feel love The only time I made them proud of me Was when I bowed my head and didn't run So what do you do when you realize you're an addict? Ripped away from the needle inside your veins? I spent my whole life trying to break through the haze, But the poison remains Identity--fake reality From this day I am sober I swear I'm starting over again Fake reality... From this day I am sober I swear I'm starting over again Cuz I woke up in Wonderland Can't recall just who I am But a voice it calls to me I know I have to leave Cuz what do you do when you realize you're an addict? Ripped away from the needle inside your veins? I spent my whole life trying to break through the haze To learn is to change Identity--new reality And from this day I am sober And now I'm starting over again New reality... And from this day I am sober And now I'm starting over again!
Section III: Freedom Was Pain
Well they tell you that freedom is gonna be great But I don't know the difference between love and hate So I'll stand in the rain And there's no one I know that knows my pain Or the weight of my name And so I'm ashamed They tell me I'm to blame They say I'm not the same I needed my space To break free from my chains Realize they were fake And I look at my old cage I didn't know that freedom was pain When the paint and the promises finally wear off Can you look at my scars and tell me their cost Tell me what I have lost All the sticks and the stones are the bridge that I crossed I'm done playing this game I'm no longer ashamed I won't take all the blame They say I'm not the same I needed my space To break free from my chains Realize they were fake And I look at my old cage I didn't know that freedom was pain Well they tell you that freedom is gonna be great I'm still learning the difference between love and hate And so I'll go on For the rest of my life I'll be writing these songs So they know they were wrong And I know I am strong But I'll prove they were wrong Because I'm not the same And I need my space I broke free from my chains And took back my name And I look at my old cage And I see it start to fade...
Section IV: Gaslight Me
Set the traps up myself Laid red tape like hell To make sure that I would stay Didn’t know I would find Breaking free the first time My only jailer was me Gotta rip out my walls to be free Alone and afraid Didn’t know I could be brave Gotta take some steps now Gonna do it myself Pull out needles one by one and place them in your loaded gun Cut off scars with your own knife so they know you control your life They know you control your life Go on go on Gaslight me Go on go on Let me be Paint your truth but you don’t have proof And I see it now so clearly Yeah I felt the cold wind Against my naked skin And I saw that the world was wide Had a veil on my eyes Take it off and realize There is so much more to see Yeah the only blind one was me Alone and afraid Didn’t know I could be brave Gotta take some steps now Gonna do it myself Secret handshakes I have made promised to take them to the grave Can’t undo what has been done I guess I’ll take my name and run I guess I’ll take my name and run Go on go on Gaslight me Go on go onLet me be Paint your truth but you don’t have proof And I see it now so clearly Go on go on Gaslight me Go on go on Let me be Paint your truth but you don’t have proof And I see it now so clearly Left with cuts from all the lies Now from the holes grow wings to fly
Speak
I speak, to the people of my past Who would not stand beside me But saved me for last Your words, that cut like a knife Secured your position Out of my life I speak, to all the fathers Placing salvation before their own daughters I speak, to all the mothers Brainwashing children, who won’t recover Because silence is violence for those that are weak Silence is violence to those that can’t speak Silence is violence to those who are weak Silence is violence to those that can’t speak And so I will speak I speak, to those that are trapped Tracing a circle, perfectly mapped Dying, to do what they’re told InfanBlizaBon will leave you cold I speak, to all religions, giving power to men Who would fuck the children Your lies, and addicBve deceit Are starBng to crack Your destrucBon complete I speak, because now I’m awake I will rise up, I will vindicate The lies, and the deeds that I’ve done Will no longer haunt me, I will not run! Because silence is violence to those who are weak Silence is violence to those that can’t speak Silence is violence to those who are weak Silence is violence to those that can’t speak And so I will speak I’m no here for fortune or fame Just look me in the eye and say my goddamn name I’m no here for fortune or fame Just look me in the eye and say my goddamn name I’m no here for fortune or fame Just look me in the eye and say my goddamn name I’m no here for fortune or fame Just look me in the eye and say my goddamn name Because silence is violence to those who are weak Silence is violence for those that can’t speak Silence is violence to those who are weak Silence is violence to those that can’t speak And so I will speak And so I will speak And so I will speak And so I will speak
P.T.S.D.
You know what it took me to get here I don’t think you do When old love is used as a weapon It’s hard to cut through, yeah I used to think love and hate were separate things But put the circle in place turns out they’re the same Just change your perspective, flip your direction I used to be a soldier, soldier I use to take order, orders So tell me what I came here for Why’d you let me fight your war? Spent all my time learning to please And I lived in fear of authority Do what the men say, don’t question your place And when the curtain is drawn love turns to shame You better paint that goddamn smile on your face Remember you’re dirty, but prove that you’re worthy I used to be a soldier, soldier I use to take order, orders So tell me what I came here for Why’d you let me fight your war? I used to be a soldier, soldier I use to take order, orders So tell me what I came here for Cuz now I won't fight your war P.T.S.D. you mind fucked me P.T.S.D you sent me to die and you didn’t think twice, please P.T.S.D. you mind fucked me P.T.S.D you sent me to die and you didn’t think twice, please P.T.S.D. you mind fucked me P.T.S.D. you sent me to die and you didn't think twice, please! I used to be a soldier, soldier I use to take order, orders I'll tell you what I came here for I came to start my own war! Fuck you! Fuck you!